I can do hard things

Well you guys, i've literally had the weekend from hell. Homework piled up, Landon didn't want to nap at all Saturday so he literally screamed all day and then I woke up to feed him Sunday morning to find that I have mastitis. Cool huh? I have never been so stressed out in my life, I have never felt so exhausted even though Landon is sleeping through the night now and school has never seemed so hard.    It is one of those things where you sit and wonder why this is happening to you, why can't you just have one day where everything goes as planned. Well, that pretty much goes out the window when you're a parent. But no matter how frustrated I get I realize that I can do this, I can do hard things.

Everyone tells you that it's not going to be easy being a new parent, and as much as you want to prepare for it, you can't. You have no idea what your child will be like. Landon is a great baby in every single way and I love him more than words can describe, but the kid HATES naps. Which means I have a very short window to try and get at least one assignment done or even take a shower before he wakes up, all before I have to leave for work at about 1:30. By the end of the day when I get home from work, dinner is literally the last thing I want to be doing. But I am beyond lucky to have a husband who has taken on the cooking role this semester. It is such a small task, but it helps me out so much. As much as I just want to quit some days and just say forget it, Tyson always reminds me that I can do it. I will get through this. And he is right, because I can do hard things.

Being a mom is the hardest, the most selfless, the most tiring, and the most rewarding job. I have never wanted to scream and pull my hair out and just sit and kiss Landon's sweet face at the same time. He will literally be screaming and when I am about to just sit him down and take a deep breath for a minute, he stops and gives me the biggest smile, and just like that my heart melts and I cannot be mad anymore. It's insane the love you have for your child even during sleepless night or those days when all they want to do is scream. I just always have to sit and remind myself that I can do hard things.

Today I stayed home from work, because I went to bed last night feeling like I got hit by a bus. I got about four hours of sleep and no matter how many blankets I put on me I couldn't get warm. Thanks mastitis. I finally got put on antibiotics so i'm hoping they kick in soon so that I wont feel like this anymore. I am so incredibly grateful for Ty. He has taken such good care of me today, and took care of Landon today except when I had to feed him..and maybe cuddle him while he napped. As much as I don't feel good being a mom is a job that you can't really take off from. But I wouldn't change that for the world because I have the most beautiful little boy who lights up my world every single day. He is the reason that I push myself through school, he is the reason I am who I am today. I look at him and remind myself, I can do hard things.